It’s the first day of summer.

But it doesn’t feel like it.

The National Weather Service expects it to climb to a high of 83 degrees today in South San Joaquin County.

Anyone who has lived in Manteca for at least one summer would view an 85-degree high as a reprieve.

As for Thursday’s expected high of 79 degrees on the first full day of summer, it sounds suspiciously like an overnight low during a typical run of 100-degree plus days in Manteca

I’m not complaining

About the only people down in the dumps over the unseasonably cool weather are PG&E hedge fund investors given the humming of hundreds of thousands of residential air conditioning units in the Central Valley is music to their ears.

Even in 100-degree  heat, much of California feels like a walk-in refrigerator compared to the same highs in the South.

Take Florida — or as the late comedian Henry Youngman would say, “take Florida . . .  please” — as a yardstick.

It is expected to reach 87 degrees in Miami today with 71 percent humidity.

If you don’t understand what that means, its nature’s way of helping you take a shower in your clothes on a summer day.

By contrast, Manteca’s humidity is excepted to be right around 18 percent.

It is on the low side for summer when humidity around here reaches the low 40s before those almost ever present Delta winds cool things down as the sun sets over the Diablo Range.

Death Valley, for comparison, is expected to usher in summer today with a high of 102 degrees and 9 percent humidity.

This isn’t just an old man talking about the weather as old men are known to sit around and do.

It’s to hammer home a point.

California has the Humidity State, I mean the Sunshine State, beaten hands down when it comes to the weather.

The past two weeks in Northern California with overcast skies in the valley and a healthy dose of thunder clouds in the Sierra once upon a  time was referenced as “earthquake weather.”

The entire idea of “earthquake weather” is laughable given on any day there are right around 40 quakes of magnitude 2 or stronger throughout California. Most, of course, are too deep and too small for people to feel.

 That said, a magnitude 2 hurricane with 96 to 110 mph winds would certainly get your attention.

 I confess.

I’ve never been to Florida.

Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis has been to California but only to do what President Biden and virtually every politician of national consequence from both sides of the aisle do — harvest campaign money.

Neither side really campaign in the Golden State that they treat as an endless ATM spewing out cash.

That said, I have been to Illinois, Missouri, and Georgia in the depths of summer.

It is when I first grasped why weather was one of the big reasons why California swelled so quickly to 39 million plus residents.

It’s our Mediterranean weather that’s found only in seven select areas in the world

My first trip to the Midwest was back in late June of 1989.

I was flying to Champaign-Urbana Illinois out of Sacramento.

The high that day was 103 degrees. I was wearing Ocean Pacific corduroy walking shorts and a polo shirt.

When I arrived in Champaign-Urbana that night it was 10 o’clock.

Much like Stockton Metro, it required a short walk from the plan to the terminal.

In less than 100 or so steps I became soaking wet.

Friends greeting me — California expatriates that eventually regained their senses and returned  — laughed and told me I’d get used to it

It was, by the way, 81 degrees with 80 percent humidity  at 10 p.m.

The next morning Jack, Gail and I went for a run.

It was a bit past 6 a.m. They told, me to go ahead as they said they were holding me back.

I declined, but they insisted. I relented, like an idiot. Little did I know they were having fun.

I picked up the pace for about two blocks when suddenly I felt like I as going to die.

I found out the hard way that humidity, especially when it is way north of 40 percent, makes it harder to breathe. That shortchanges oxygen to the muscles. Toss in the fact that the moisture in the air retards the evaporation of your sweat, which is how you lose heat and — bingo – you have the bends and a searing pain in your lungs.

Did I mention that Jack was my best friend at the time?

Humidity was an issue all week, especially after the standard car rental I had secured was a Ford LTD with air conditioning that wasn’t working.

I could have settled for a smaller model with air but it wasn’t part of the unlimited mileage deal.

Long story short, we were on a road trip to St, Louis when we decided we didn’t want to stay overnight there.

For whatever reason, the fact Hannibal — Samuel Clemens’ boyhood town  – was a four hours or so drive to the north, got us a bit excited.

We ended up arriving in Hannibal just after 11 p.m. only to find every room was booked in town due to a convention.

One motel clerk called East Hannibal — on the Illinois side of the river — and found us a room.

They had one room left with double beds. The mattresses were beyond broken down as you sunk. The wall air conditioning made noise and not much else. Did I mention on a scale of 1 to 10 the East Hannibal motel elevated a 50-year-old Motel 6 into the Hyatt Regency category?.

When I awoke in the morning, Jack and Gail were dressed and sitting on their bed.

I apologized but said I had to take a shower because I felt so bad from the stickiness.

They told me good luck as there was little water pressure.

I went into the bathroom,. They went for a walk.

It is the first time — and last time — I “bathed” literally using a paper Dixie Cup.

It semi did the trick.

When Jack and Gail got back they noted there was a swimming pool. If I had known that I wouldn’t have taken a 50 plus Dixie Cup shower filling it from the sink and dumping it on me as I stood in the shower.

We drove back across the Mississippi into Hannibal.

Gail wanted to go on a riverboat.

It was 10 a.m.

I was now standing on the second deck in the shade wearing shorts and a polo shirt and dripping wet.

I made some comments out loud to Jack and Gail about how embarrassing the humidity was and why did I bother to take a shower less than an hour ago.

A couple sitting nearby offered up a  friendly comment that “you never get used to it”.

They also added they have been living in New Orleans for six years after moving  from California.
Yes, I did blurt out “Are you crazy?”

To which they just laughed.

And — I’m not telling tales out of school — when I say it sounded like Jack Nicholson laughing from a scene in “The shining.”There’s clearly something in the air . . .

This column is the opinion of editor, Dennis Wyatt, and does not necessarily represent the opinions of The Bulletin or 209 Multimedia. He can be reached at dwyatt@mantecabulletin.com